Let’s be honest — the idea of starting counselling can feel intimidating.
Not because you don’t want help but because you don’t know what you’re walking into.
A lot of people assume the first session will feel like an interrogation or that you’ll be expected to explain your entire life story in perfect order.
But the truth is: your first counselling session is usually much softer than you imagine.
It’s not about having the “right words.”
It’s not about being broken enough to deserve help.
It’s not about proving anything.
It’s simply the start of support.
Why people feel nervous about their first therapy session
If you’re anxious before your first appointment, you’re not alone.
Many people worry about things like:
- “What if I cry?”
- “What if I don’t know what to say?”
- “What if my problems aren’t serious enough?”
- “What if it gets awkward?”
And honestly? These fears make sense. Therapy can be vulnerable especially if you’re used to coping alone, staying strong, or pretending everything is “fine.”
But in counselling, you don’t need to show up as the best version of yourself. You just need to show up as you.
What happens in the first counselling session?
Your first counselling session is mostly a conversation.
You’ll usually talk about:
- what brought you to therapy
- what you’ve been struggling with lately
- how it’s affecting your life (mentally, emotionally, physically)
- what you want help with
- what kind of support you’re looking for
It’s also a time where your therapist gets to understand the bigger picture without rushing you or forcing you into details. You won’t be pressured to “share everything.” The first session is about creating safety, clarity, and direction.
What questions might a therapist ask?
In your first therapy session, your counsellor may ask things like:
- What made you reach out now?
- How long have you been feeling this way?
- What does a hard day look like for you?
- What are you hoping counselling will help with?
- Have you tried anything before that helped (or didn’t)?
- What support systems do you have?
These questions aren’t meant to judge you, they’re meant to understand you. This helps your therapist create a plan that fits you, instead of giving generic advice.
How counselling helps (what therapy actually does)
Counselling isn’t about someone telling you what to do. It’s about helping you understand what’s happening inside you and why.
Therapy can help you:
- manage anxiety and stress
- stop overthinking and spiraling
- build emotional regulation skills
- improve self-esteem and confidence
- set boundaries without guilt
- heal people-pleasing patterns
- process grief, trauma, or loss
- improve relationships and communication
- feel calmer, clearer, and more grounded
For many people, the biggest relief is knowing that you don’t have to hold everything alone anymore.
What if I don’t “click” with my therapist?
This is important. The connection matters. A lot. If you don’t feel comfortable after a few sessions, it doesn’t mean therapy won’t work, it may just mean you need a better fit. A good counsellor will never take that personally.
Your healing deserves the right support.
Starting counselling is brave (even if you’re scared)
If you’ve been considering counselling, this is your sign. Not to force yourself into change overnight but to stop suffering in silence.
You don’t need to have it all figured out.
You don’t need perfect words.
You don’t need to be okay first.
You just need a starting point.
And counselling can be that.
Reach out
A calm conversation can be the first step toward clarity, emotional relief, and real change. If you’re ready to begin counselling but you’re unsure where to start, you’re welcome to reach out by filling out the Request a Session form on my home page.
